Famous People I Want for Best Friends
By Erin Gordon
I’ve always been fascinated by celebrity culture. As a tween, I begged my parents for a VCR (cutting edge tech then!) and taped Entertainment Tonight and every celebrity talk show. I scanned the TV section of the newspaper with a highlighter in hand. (*shakes head at nerdiness*) I sent snail mail letters to celebrities to augment my robust autograph collection. Even now, there are oodles of famous people I’d love to meet — Hillary Clinton, Lin Manuel Miranda, Judy Blume, Queen Latifah, to name a few. But I have a wholly different and very special list of celebrities I want to be best friends with. It adjusts periodically but here’s who I’m eager to be real life friends with right now.
Kathy Griffin. Ever since watching My Life on the D-List back in 2005, Kathy has been a constant on my will-you-be-my-best-friend list. She’s exactly what I love in a friend: whip smart, super dishy and fucking hilarious. Something to know about me: if you make me laugh, I will follow you to the ends of the earth. Kathy’s humor is based in stories, in gossip about other celebrities, one of my personal favorite topics. I’ve seen Kathy perform live many times and it’s the way she tells stories that makes me want to be around her all the time. To me, her storytelling is sincere and feels deeply intimate (“Oh my God, you guys, you’ll never believe…”) and she seems to be having fun while doing it. Plus, her insights calling out the crazies, the hypocrites are always sharp. At the same time, she can be insecure and vulnerable, which is one of the reasons I want to be her friend — I’d love to boost her up, to remind her how smart and talented she is. If you want a compelling glimpse into Kathy’s life after “the photo,” watch this documentary:
(Side note: two other wildly smart, hilarious comics I love: Tiffany Haddish and Iliza Shlesinger. But it’s Kathy who I want to be friends with.)
Next up, Maddie Mitchell. Chances are, you have no idea who she is and I wouldn’t either if my Gen Z daughter hadn’t turned me onto this 20-something TikToker. Like Kathy, Maddie is funny, smart and passionately feminist. In fact, writing this is reminding me that I need to buy merch with her signature phrase, “How hard can it be? Boys do it.” Maddie’s videos are often in list form, such as “Things That Are None of My Business” (“the rules of a game when someone is explaining them to me” or “what Apple consistently charges me $4.99 for”) or “Stupid Things I Say” (“'I’m so sorry, I’m dairy free’ when declining invitations” and “I’m not open to alternative feedback”). Recently she said: “I feel like I’m the outside of flash mob when it comes to liking matcha. Because every time I try to trick myself into thinking, 'I’m gonna like it this time,’ every single time, nary an iota of enjoyment in the facility with me. It feels like if I were to take a straw and insert it into the ground, I would find the same result. And that’s not something I’m seeking for my taste buds ever. At all. Ever." Maddie can also enviably, cleverly, wittily take down dumbass, white privileged men. For example, here’s her “emergency, court-mandated vibe check” after some men found her “How hard can it be? Boys do it” video offensive:
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserI want to have daily phone conversations with Maddie.
Briefly mentioned in a previous post, I’d love to be best friends with Ketanji Brown Jackson. After listening to the 18.5-hour audio version of her compelling memoir, which she narrated, I feel like Justice Jackson and I already are friends. She’s unabashedly ambitious and throughout her life friendships have meant a lot to her. A fellow mom of young adults, her vibe is so earnest, her focus so clear that she’s the kind of person who makes me want to be the best version of myself. Justice Jackson, I know you have close friends in San Francisco — next time you’re here, can I treat you to a latte at As Quoted?
This one may not be quite as obscure to fellow Gen X-ers as Maddie Mitchell, but still not everyone will get why I want to be friends with Peloton instructor Robin Arzon. I jumped on the Peloton bandwagon early in the pandemic and my devotion has not waned. Like me, Robin is a former lawyer. Funny and fierce, she’s my go-to cycling instructor, especially for 80’s music rides when she shares relatable stories about being an adolescent during that iconic time. After a Robin class, I get off the bike with a lighter, more badass mindset than when I got on — so maybe it’s more accurate to say that I want her to be my life coach. Some favorite Robin-isms:
“What could go right?”
You’re allowed to be more than one thing.”
“Postpartum doesn’t just last six weeks — maybe not even six years. It can last a lifetime.”
“Keep betting on yourself even when the road doesn’t turn out as you expected.”
“Oftentimes our hobbies are little whispers of passion, saying ‘let me out.’”
“Boundaries are sexy.”
No men on this wishy best friends list, you say? Throw a suggestion my way and I’ll let you know what I think. Plus, rest assured, I have a whole separate list of celebrity boyfriends (Come to mama, David Schwimmer!), which perhaps I’ll share sometime. In the meantime, are there any famous people you want to be friends with? I’d love to hear!
Before I go, here’s a recommendation for a book I couldn’t put down. I am a huge fan of the “found family” trope and this one is a shining example. Kate Quinn always nails it and I rate this one 4.75 stars. If you’ve already read it or decide to read it, let me know and I’ll share why it just barely missed being a 5-star read.
Right off the top of my head, I can think of one man - Tim Gunn. About 10 years ago, I decided I wanted Tim to move in next door and become my BFF. I adore that man!
Love this!